


Lock Picking

by Jenanigans1207



Category: Scrubs (TV)
Genre: Fluff, JDox, Love Confession, M/M, Tooth Rotting Fluff, and dr cox realizing the obvious, and yet nothing changes, because in this JD never left sacred heart, everything changes, it's really just soft, musings, not strictly canon compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-11-26 02:23:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20922596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jenanigans1207/pseuds/Jenanigans1207
Summary: The goddamn kid had done it. He’d worked his way right to the gates of Perry’s heart. But. while Perry thought he was waiting for entrance, waiting for the grand gesture of Perry handing him the key to his heart, the kid was steadily picking the locks. And now, as Perry looked deep into his own heart, he found JD hiding in every corner, every crevice, every dark space. The whole of his heart was filled with him. Instead of the terrible memories from his past, he was flooded with memories of JD.





	Lock Picking

**Author's Note:**

> Hi. So I am a HUGE scrubs fan. HUGE. And yet, until about 4 days ago, the idea of scrubs fanfiction had never occurred to me. Literally, ever. And then my best friend/roommate made an offhand comment and I realized that I'd been missing out for years of my life. So, in the past 4 days I've read nearly every piece of JDox fic on this website (seriously). And I've been telling myself that I'm not going to write my own because, is anyone even still reading this kind of stuff? Like, Scrubs hasn't been airing in YEARS. But I couldn't shake the idea, couldn't shake how I imagined it would go. So, here you go. I couldn't stop myself and I'm not sorry.

Today was one of those days.

But then again, every day had been one of those days since Dr. Perry Cox had become Chief of Medicine. He was, notoriously, stubborn to a fault and that hadn’t changed in the slightest since taking on his new role. With a sigh, he slumped against the wall, eyes scanning the chart in his hand repeatedly because his brain was not absorbing any of the information.

He was lost somewhere in thought— though he couldn’t say exactly where. He had so many things to do, his mind couldn’t focus on a single one of them for more than a few seconds. Still, he didn’t hear when the door to his patient’s room opened, didn’t hear when JD stepped up to him. He only noticed the other man’s presence when JD reached out to gently take the chart from his hands.

“I already took care of Mr. Byrde, here.” He said after a moment, closing the chart and attaching it to the end of the bed again. 

“Oh,” Was all Perry could think to say. He took a long-suffering sigh and scrubbed his hands down his face for a moment. It wasn't like there was a lot to do for Mr. Byrde anyways. The man had been in a coma for months. But that made it all the more pathetic that Perry couldn't even handle this single patient on his own.

“But, Dr. Cox, there is something I want to talk to you about.” JD said after a moment. His voice was quiet, but firm, and Perry couldn’t help but think how much he’d changed since he was an intern. He was no longer scared to say what he needed to say or to stand up for himself. He was also no longer afraid to put in his two cents about Perry and his life choice which, undoubtedly, was what he was about to do.

“Save me the lecture, Sheila. I’ve heard it before.” Perry shoved his hands into the pockets of his lab coat and leveled JD with what he hoped was a strong enough look to stop whatever words were going to come out of his mouth next.

It wasn’t. But he also had been incredibly wrong in his anticipation of JD’s speech. “I’m in love with you,” He said, his eyes clear and bright. Not daydreaming, then. “And I know you’re going to ridicule me for it. I know you’re going to tell me that nothing can happen and then you’re going to do the one thing you’ve spent nearly eight years trying to do: push me away. But here’s the thing, Perry,” Perry stood very still, stock straight, unable to move or think. He could barely even breathe. “You’ve done exactly that. You’ve tried to push me away for eight years and it hasn’t worked. You’ve called me girl names, you’ve torn me apart, you’ve lectured me every way from Sunday and none of it stopped me from falling  _ in _ love with you, so none of it going to help me fall  _ out of  _ love with you, either.”

JD paused then, to take a breath, eyeing Perry as if he were waiting for him to jump down his throat. He probably should— he had every reason to. But Perry found that he was still paralyzed, frozen to his spot, tongue unable of forming a single word. 

So, JD pressed on, undeterred. “And, again, I get it, nothing is going to happen. I’m not expecting anything to happen, I’m not expecting you to feel the same way. I’m trying to get over it and this— well, this is the first step, I guess. Admitting it. It makes it more solid, more real, and that gives me something to work with. And I figured it’d help if I told you because— well, we all know that you’ve known for years Perry. Everyone has known for years. And I’m sure you buried it deep inside you under layers of denial and scotch, but you  _ know _ it’s there. Always has been, practically. And I’m telling you so you can use it as an out. As an excuse. It gives you another reason to hate me, to blame me, to push me away. It gives you another box to put my behavior in so you can lock it away inside of you and brush it off like you always do. I think it just makes for a very neat ending, if I admit it to you like this so…”

He paused again, his face screwed up in something that was a mixture of fear and relief. He looked like he always did after he was caught rambling— head tilted slightly to the right as he mentally ran through everything he’d just said, making sure he hadn’t gone too far or revealed too much. But that’s what this whole rant was—  _ too much. Too far. _

After another pause where Perry still couldn’t bring himself to say or do anything, JD nodded briefly, “Anyways, that’s all I came here to say. I promise nothing has to change so if you want to pretend I never said this, that’s fine, I understand."

And then.

And then he just turned on his heel and walked calmly out of the room.

He just  _ walked away _ .

As if he hadn’t just shattered everything Perry knew. As if he hadn’t just dropped an atomic bomb on him. As if he hadn’t just taken the last eight years of Perry’s life and flipped it on its head.

He just walked away like everything was completely normal.

And for the first time, maybe ever, Perry found himself utterly speechless. He had no idea how to react to that, no idea what to say or do or feel. The only thing he could do was stumble numbly a few steps forward, hands still deep in the pockets of his lab coat, and watch as JD approached the nurse’s station. He talked to Carla, laughing and joking with her, head shaking in disbelief as a smile played on his lips. It was so  _ normal. _ It was like nothing had just happened between them. But surely it had. Perry hadn’t been dreaming it. It wasn’t the kind of thing he’d dream up because it wasn’t the kind of thing he wanted. Plus, he wasn’t JD— he wasn’t prone to losing himself in absurd daydreams, even when he was at such a high stress level. 

JD had told him that he could pretend none of this ever happened if he wanted to. And he did want to— didn’t he? But no matter what he wanted, he knew he couldn’t pretend this didn’t happen. He also couldn’t pretend the sting wasn’t there when JD walked away from the nurse’s station, new charts in hand, without even sparing a glance over his shoulder at Perry.

* * *

Perry hadn’t been avoiding JD. Really, he hadn’t been. He’d passed him in the hall a few times, but his to-do list as chief of medicine was so long that he barely even had time to spare the kid a glance. 

So, no, he hadn’t been avoiding JD. But he could admit to himself that he was relieved that he hadn’t really had to interact with him yet, either. 

He was still speechless, at least when it came to that. He still had no idea what he would say to the kid next. On one hand, he  _ did _ want to tease him mercilessly, holding it over his head and never, ever,  _ ever _ relent on calling him girls names. But on the other hand, he wasn’t  _ that _ cruel and a love declaration was a precious, fragile thing. And honestly, he’d torn the kid apart enough times over the years, did he really need to do it again?

The door to his office opened while he was mid-thought, papers spread out in front of him that he was completely ignoring, and he glanced up just in time to see JD walk in, nose buried in another chart. “Dr. Cox I want to talk to you about your patient, Mrs. Wilde.”

Perry still didn’t have words— he couldn’t even think of a  _ single _ girl’s name, for christ sake!-- so he simply reclined in his chair and raised an eyebrow.

JD understood this as a prompt to continue and so he did, “Well, you see, I’m not trying to step on your toes or anything. But her call light was on so I stopped in to see what she needed. And she wanted one of her test results explained to her again, so I was going through her chart—”

“To the point, Newbie,” Perry said after a moment, relieved to finally find his words again.

“Right,” JD glanced fully up from the chart then, his expression perfectly normal. He didn’t look nervous or anxious, didn’t seem like he was seconds from sprinting out the door and hiding in the nearest supply closet. “I think she might be diabetic so I ordered some tests.”

_ There _ it was, the moment where he braced himself to get yelled at. It was small, imperceptible to anyone who wasn’t used to seeing it, but Perry saw it. He saw the way JD set his jaw, the miniscule shift in his shoulders to square them off. He was prepared to get in trouble for doing what he’d thought was right for the patient, just because she was Perry’s patient. But he  _ had _ done it. He’d crossed that line. He’d decided to ask for forgiveness instead of permission. So, while he was braced for another lecture, another berating and beat down, he wasn’t scared. Back when he’d been scared of Perry, he wouldn’t do anything without his permission. But the fear was gone now, he was confident and competent.

“Good job there, Newbie.” Perry said after a moment of silence. “I think you made the right call.”

A brief pause followed Perry’s words but he didn’t expect JD to preen, not like he used to. He still valued Perry’s opinion and very much sought after his approval, but he was more sure of himself, so it didn’t land as strongly as it used to. Or maybe, Perry tried to fight the fleeting thought, he had given JD much more praise than he realized and JD was getting  _ used _ to it. Still, JD did smile a little, small and warm, and Perry couldn’t bring himself to care if he did praise the kid a lot.

“I’ll be the one to go over her results with her once they’re back, if you’d like.” JD offered after a moment, tucking the chart underneath his arm.

Perry looked at him then—  _ really  _ looked at him. He was no longer a kid, despite the fact that Perry still thought of him that way in his mind. He was a man now, grown and standing on his own two feet. He was a doctor, too. Full-fledged. He wasn’t a newbie anymore, didn’t make silly mistakes, didn’t run from the pressure. He could handle anything the hospital would throw at him. Perry wanted to take credit for that, wanted to say all the years he’d spent preparing him had helped, but the truth was that JD was always going to make it.

He was kind, compassionate and caring. Those were the qualities of a good doctor— the qualities school couldn’t teach. The rest he could learn. He could learn the medical knowledge, he could learn how not to crack under pressure. But nobody could ever teach him how to have a good rapport with patients, how to earn their trust. That was something inherent that a good doctor needed to have. And JD had possessed those qualities since day one. Since hour one. Minute one. He was destined for success in this field whether or not he’d stumbled upon Perry as his mentor.

And, while the kid had said more than once that he was lucky to have Perry in his life, Perry thought he had it backwards. Perry was the lucky one to have JD in his life.

The kid had made him a better doctor. The kid had softened him, more than anyone else ever had. From the moment he walked in the doors, he’d walked right through all the walls that Perry had put up.

“Whatever works, Janice. If you’re free when the results come back, go for it. If not, I’ll talk to her next time I do my rounds.” Perry answered finally, trying not to lose himself to his thoughts. But they were strong, and pulling him back under almost immediately. He didn’t really even register when JD nodded and took his leave. 

JD had taught Perry a lot in the last eight years. He’d taught him about going the extra mile. He’d taught him that it was alright to have feelings. Because, the truth was, Perry  _ did  _ have feelings, always had. He’d just locked them away in the very back of his heart, hidden behinds years and years of denial and self sabotage. He’d blocked the door to his feelings with the rubble from his ruined childhood and the trauma that it had caused. His feelings had always existed, he’d just forgotten how to access them.

And then JD had come along and changed that. Slowly but surely over the last eight years, he’d been moving away the shattered pieces of his past. He’d been taking them into himself, nursing them back to health and clearing a way to Perry’s real emotions. He was  _ right, _ goddamn it. Perry had spent eight years yelling at him, belittling him and pushing him aside. Perry had called him nearly every name he could think of, had hurt him more times than anyone could count. But it hadn’t done a damn thing. It hadn’t pushed the kid away even an inch. Despite all of that, despite everything, JD had steadily moved closer, broken down more walls and continued to clear a path to his heart. 

And now, here they were, JD standing in front of the locked door to his emotions, waiting for Perry to open it. Because that’s what JD did, he waited. He never pushed, he never prodded too much. He would attempt to move forward and, if Perry slammed the door shut in his face, he’d wait patiently until the chance arose again. Sure, sometimes he'd jiggle the door knob, a reminder that he was still there and he wasn't giving up. But he never tried to kick the door in. He was much more subtle than that. His efforts had been slow, deliberate and long-suffering. He’d been in this for the long haul since day one, never knowing what to expect but never giving up.

With a sigh, Perry slumped back in his chair. The damn kid was right. There was nothing he could do to push him away. But more than that, he was right that nothing had to change between them. Nothing really had changed between them, despite JD's love confession, and it was a weird thought. But in truth, it was spot on. Because, for the last eight years, whether Perry had realized it or not, he and JD had sort of belonged to each other. Despite their different relationships, their ups and their downs, the one consistent thing, the one thing they always came back to, was each other.

It never failed that Perry would be there for JD if the kid really needed him. He would never have dreamt of pushing him away in one of his worst moments, never would’ve left him in pieces on the ground. He never would’ve let JD fail. No matter what he said or how he acted, he cared about JD and _everyone_ knew it. He had a soft spot for the kid, always had, and had never really tried all that hard to cover it up. He'd tried to not let it affect their daily interactions, but he'd never tried to outright deny that it was there. Conversely, JD never let him suffer alone, never let him bear any burden alone. JD was, consistently, the only person who could get through to him. The only one who could pull him up from the bottom of the bottle and put him on his feet again. JD was the only presence that was always comforting, no matter the situation. His words were the only ones that could ever cut fully through the fog of Perry's mind, that could chase away his misery.

So, what, that meant that JD had been in love with him for nearly eight years?

Perry wanted to punch a wall because JD was right, again, about everything. The truth, if Perry were willing to face it— which he almost never was— was that he  _ did _ know that. And he had done exactly what JD had said, he’d buried that knowledge deep inside of him and pretended that it didn’t exist. But there was no other explanation for the last eight years. There was no other reason for him to care  _ that much _ about Perry’s opinion of him while simultaneously not really caring at all what the other doctors thought of him. There was no other reason he would’ve tried so hard, fought so long, to get close to Perry.

The goddamn kid could see straight through him.

That thought should scare the hell out of Perry. It should terrify him, but it didn’t. Because he’d let this happen. It wasn’t like he didn’t know JD was clearing out the rubble of his past, dusting off his emotions and teaching Perry how to use them again, one by one. It wasn’t like this had been happening secretly behind his back for eight years. He’d  _ let _ the kid do that, he’d let him get closer. JD just took it at such a slow pace, worked so hard to never cross any lines Perry set, that he never felt uncomfortable with it. He'd let the kid into the innerworkings of his mind and the kid had never abused that power. Never used it against him or held it over his head. All he'd ever done with it was use it to understand Perry better and to help further his quest to Perry's heart. 

And then it hit Perry. On one hand it was a huge revelation, earth shattering and life altering. On the other hand, it absolutely was none of those things. It was just another one of his hidden emotions that he’d been ignoring.

He was in love with JD, too.

Always had been.

The goddamn kid had done it. He’d worked his way right to the gates of Perry’s heart. But. while Perry thought he was waiting for entrance, waiting for the grand gesture of Perry handing him the key to his heart, the kid was steadily picking the locks. And now, as Perry looked deep into his own heart, he found JD hiding in every corner, every crevice, every dark space. The whole of his heart was filled with him. Instead of the terrible memories from his past, he was flooded with memories of JD. 

Of the time JD had told him that he was proud of Perry for caring so much. The time JD had been there to pick up his pieces after Ben’s death. The numerous times JD had swooped in to his defense, had worked his hardest to change everyone’s opinions of Perry. He remembered JD giving him the book of rants when he’d almost left Sacred Heart. At that memory, a feeling of fondness swelled inside Perry. That was just so  _ JD _ . To turn something terrible into a gift. It was just like him to take the worst and turn it into the best.

After all, that’s exactly what he’d done to Perry, wasn’t it?

When he’d walked into the hospital as an intern, he’d been walking in to an angry, bitter, closed-off Perry. But now, eight years later, Perry was the Chief of Medicine, making more of his life than he ever thought he could have. He had more patience, more time to enjoy his life and more appreciation for the things he did have. He was no longer getting in his own way and he knew, truly, that the majority of it was JD’s doing. JD had shown him another way.

And this was his last test, he realized as he startled up in his seat. He was being presented with one more chance to get in his own way, to deny himself happiness. 

He’d been doing so good, he wasn’t going to fail now.

* * *

With a loud, attention drawing whistle, Perry approached the nurse’s station. JD was seated behind it, typing away at one of the computers, a series of charts spread out around him. His head snapped up at the sound, eyes immediately seeking Perry. 

Perry, only halfway to the counter, jerked his head over his shoulder, towards the exit. “Grab your coat and let’s go, Betty.”

JD bit down on a smile but even Perry could see it from across the hallway. “I’ve got a few more discharge summaries to finish before I can go home.”

“You can do those in the morning,” Perry replied evenly, He’d swapped his lab coat for a light jacket, knowing the fall air would be cool outside. 

“I don’t know,” JD replied, but he was flipping the charts around him shut. “My boss is kind of an ass and doesn’t like when I push off my paperwork.”

There was nothing Perry could do to stop the short bark of a laugh from coming. “Just get your damn coat, Jessica. I’ll meet you outside.”

As he weaved through the maze of halls effortlessly, Perry thought about how this should go. The kid was a romantic at heart, he’d probably go weak in the knees and fall into Perry’s arms if he gave some big love declaration. He’d probably cry, too, if Perry really thought about it. But that wasn’t Perry. He was softer, sure, but he was still gruff and blunt and always straight to the point. He didn’t play games and did  _ nawt _ do over the top love declarations.

He was still thinking about this while leaning against his Porsche when JD exited the building, slipping his arms into the sleeves of his hoodie as he approached the car. Perry was struck again with the fact that he was no longer a kid. He was a man who could make his own decisions and had the right and the confidence to say what it is he wants. And, apparently, what he wants is Perry.

It strikes him then— JD doesn’t expect some big love declaration. Not because he made it very clear that he didn’t expect Perry to feel the same but because he  _ knows _ Perry. He knows the man he fell in love with. He knows that over the top mushy speeches are not in Perry’s vernacular. Perry is overwhelmed then with a sense of love for the kid. It's no surprise to him that he let JD close to his heart, no surprise that he loves the kid. Anyone who met him loved him. And anyone who had JD put that much time and effort into them was bound to fall for him the way Perry had. He was irresistible, even when he was being completely and utterly ridiculous. 

“Listen, Dr. Cox, if you’re going to murder me for what I said, you should at least let me finish my paperwork. Or else you’re the one who’s going to have to do it all,” He’s pleading as he stops just before he reaches the car. “I know you didn’t like hearing it and I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable—”

“JD,” Perry nearly growls, dropping the kid’s real name for, maybe, the fifth time ever. That alone does enough to stop JD from saying anymore, but just to be sure, Perry closes the gap between them in three large steps and pulls the kid into him, kissing him soundly.

It doesn’t take JD more than a second to respond, kissing back and gripping at Perry’s shirt like his life depends on it. A lot has changed over the years, but at the same time it feels like nothing has changed. The man under his lips is still the same kid who needed his approval and ran every time he saw the janitor on the same floor. He still tended to lose himself in a daydream at the most inconvenient times, pulling himself back to reality with increasingly more ridiculous non sequiturs and he tripped more than any normal human ever should. But there was more to him now. He wasn’t a different person, just a more mature person. And, as Perry kissed him, he realized that he’d been lucky enough not just to watch him grow into the man he was, but to love him every step of the way.

Finally, they break apart and JD is outright  _ beaming _ up at him. With a huff, Perry motions to the car and they both climb in without a word. And maybe they should talk about this, maybe Perry should say something ridiculously cheesy like  _ ‘It was always you, kid’ _ . But, before he can muster up the guts to actually do it, JD is buckled into his seat and reaching across the center console, resting his hand gently on Perry’s knee. And in that moment, Perry realizes that JD  _ knows _ . That he can read and feel every unspoken word, thought and feeling. 

And then he glances at JD's face again, at his huge grin, and he gets it. The romantic in JD doesn't care about grand gestures, he cares about a sense of closeness. The feeling of magic, the sparks when they kiss. He cares about knowing that _this_ is special. It doesn't have to be shouted from the rooftop to be intimate, important and really true. It just needs to be the two of them, together. It just needs to feel real and it does. Oh god does it feel real and JD squeezes his knee, his smile directed out the passenger window. _This _is all JD spent eight years wanting. Just the acknowledgement that he'd made his way into Perry's heart. 

As they pull out of the parking lot and head towards the only diner that’s open twenty-four hours, Perry does toss him one bone, “If you’re waiting for the key to my heart, kid, you’re not going to get it. You don’t  _ need  _ it, because you picked the lock a long time ago.”

JD laughs openly in the seat next to him, squeezing his knee agian, “If you expect me to be sorry for that, I’m not.”

And then it’s Perry’s turn to huff out a laugh as he realizes that his life was always leading to this moment. His path had been intertwined with JD’s eight years ago and they’d never veered apart. It might’ve taken him a long time to realize it, to get there, but on the other hand it really hadn’t. Because, really, they’d basically been in a relationship for eight years, even if it was unspoken. They’d been the other’s confidant, their closest person. And so really, this didn’t change anything.

But, as he parked the car and leaned over to kiss JD again before allowing him out of the car, he couldn’t help but think that this also changed  _ everything _ .

And for once, he wasn’t afraid of the change. 


End file.
